How to explain that I want to do both more and less, at the same time? That I want to do less penny any shit, less close the cabinets, less pick up trash & dishes, less turning off the bathroom light that you left on when you left while also asserting that if directly asked I'm happy to, as I have time and energy, do weekly and bigger cleaning projects, make calls and plans on household business, organize things, etc.
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2 comments:
These issues are related but still separate.
Issue # 1 : Is it right to leave staying laying around, leave lights on, doors open, etc. Generally these are little things. It can be suggested that these actions are too little to consider. But maybe it is too little not to do as well? Either point can be made.
The real question (IMHO) is; why make a case for not doing little things?
Then there is a separate issue.
Issue #2 : What is my role in organizing the house, household business decisions , etc. Once against; why exclude someone from that process? I think that is something to ponder.
The logical non sequitur that I see is :
A. If Someone doesn’t have time/effort level to do little things ; Then Someone doesn’t have time/effort level to big things.
B. Since Someone doesn’t have time/effort level to do little things.
C. Stands to reason; Someone doesn’t have time/effort level to do big things
I don’t think this holds. Some people are really good at big things. Some are good at little things. Not everyone is good at all things. But we all have to pick and choose.
Either way, solving who does what and why is an issue to address. It is worth addressing. But it is not the same issue.
To clarify, the little things are all things that others maybe you should have done the first time around themselves. The big things are things that we could all do together or individually for the household, but are not just individual matters. So for example the little things are picking up trash or empty containers that someone else left out while the big things are things like making room for the playpen downstairs or making reservations for our trip. Within the same 48 hour period, I offered to help with big things if asked for directly, like if asked to do something instead of the bag we need to do X, and then turn around and ask later could you help me out by picking up after yourself. While these may seem contradictory to other people these are both true things for me
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