So I'm trying not be so overly picky that I end up never dating ever. If you read regularly, you know that I don't necessarily feel like I'm ready to date and I have a set of guideline, but I'm also trying not to use either as an excuse to be closed off. This is especially true because I'm still seeing/fucking/playing with the Professor, but I'm trying to keep in mind that it is an on the side thing.
I have a profile up on a free dating site that says pretty much what my profile & writing on fet does. Last weekend I got a very thoughtful and honest response from a (cute but in my looks - range) man who wants an open relationship and is trying new things after just getting out of a sexually unadventurous marriage. He's from the same hometown I am, likes music I like too, blah blah blah. His message was so much different from what i usually get that I read it immediately to the Professor. Before we even looked at the profile, he said,"You have to message this guy."
We've had one date, gonna have another on Saturday. I had asked him at some poibt about his "sexual bucket list" and last night he shared stuff, though in a tit for tat way. Mostly it ended up being him saying that he'd like to do x and me saying that I had done it a bunch. I had mentioned the fetish list on fetlife. He's not on fet so last night i just copy & pasted my fetish and curious about lists to him. His response? "With the exclusion of polyamory, all the stuff that you're curious about I would say I'm not curious about at this point. And half the stuff you're into I'm only curious about. Things like whipping and impact play may be beyond me, but they don't color my opinion of you."
This is the danger in giving people chances. So far the guys who would be willing to have a LTRR either don't have much experience or think they're "not vanilla" because they like nipple clamps and want to try anal sex and the guys who seem like they just might know what they're doing and have a good deal of experience don't want LTRR or a kid. This is why i don't want to give people chances. By the time i realize how much they don't fit, i kinda like them. At least enough to not want to stomp on their hearts.