New Years

I don't have the greatest New Years. They aren't bad, persay. When I was young, I always spent New Year's Eves at my grandparents house, as I did every break, and, well, it wasn't really a party. That isn't my grandparent's fault. They were/are older. My grandma would be in bed long before midnight and my grandpa and I would usually stay up to watch the ball drop. The neighbors across the street seemed to have a better time, as they banged pans and shot off guns at midnight. There was also the obligatory call to my (middle) uncle since his birthday is New Year's Eve, but he was usually drunk, though thankfully usually more sad drunk than beligerent drunk.

New Year's Eves didn't get better when I got older, as I thought they would. I haven't gone to many parties and I haven't been with significant others who saw it as a big deal and made any kind of plans for it. I remember one year Sir bought tickets for a pro hockey game for my Christmas present (my request of gift, btw) and they happened to be for New Years. Though I probably shouldn't have dressed up, since we had to walk in the cold to and from the stadium, I still did. We got back to his place with enough time for me to drink a bottle of champagne (Sir doesn't drink), see Dick Clark looking not so great the first year after his stroke, watch the ball drop, and have an embarassing sex accident. Joy.

I think the best New Year's Eve was the one I had when I was 18 at the party thrown by my gay friends. They were the only good thing about living in Skanky State Capitol City. One of the young men worked for a local HIV/AIDS education center, ran their LGBTQ youth group, and worked the coatcheck at the local all-ages, gay-friendly club for donations to the center. It wasn't a huge party, but it was full of friendly accepting people (gay men, lesbians, straight chicks, coupla straight boys- all 18 and over) hanging out, joking, eating peanut butter cups out of each other's crotches, and hitting each other with my leather belt. Lol. It was alot more fun than it might sound.

But I've always thought New Years was kinda depressing. No presents. No special food. Lots of places closed. Just alcohol, which is no fun if you don't have friends. Even less fun if you don't have a significant other. And to make resolutions, one has to look back at the previous year, which is usually pretty depressing. Last New Year's Eve, I thought that things would have to get better the next year, except for BT being deployed. Turns out I was wrong. I hope this next year will be better. Hope I can make it better. So here are my New Years songs. I think the first one is pretty hopeful but they are all reflexive and depressing too. Enjoy ;)

What a Year for a New Year- Dan Wilson
no youtube-
What a year for a new year
We need it like we needed life I guess
Last one left us lying in a mess
What a year for a new year

What a night for a sunrise
And we thought the dark would never end
Reaching out to try to find a friend
What a night for a sunrise
Sunrise

What a day for new day
And our star shines like a miracle
And our world is almost beautiful again
What a day for a new day
New day

What a year for a new year
What a night for a sunrise
And we thought the dark would never end
Reaching out to try to find a friend
What a night for a sunrise
Sunrise

Soon we'll be lying in our beds
And new dreams will fill our heads
And the old ones will be ended
Hope we'll forget about this place
Let it go without a trace
Wipe the teardrops from our faces
Oh! What a year for a new year!

A Long December- Counting Crows
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNF1a-ZG1uc
A long december and theres reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I cant remember the last thing that you said as you were leaven
Now the days go by so fast

And its one more day up in the canyons
And its one more night in hollywood
If you think that I could be forgiven...i wish you would

The smell of hospitals in winter
And the feeling that its all a lot of oysters, but no pearls
All at once you look across a crowded room
To see the way that light attaches to a girl

And its one more day up in the canyons
And its one more night in hollywood
If you think you might come to california...i think you should

Drove up to hillside manor sometime after two a.m.
And talked a little while about the year
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower,
Makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her

And its been a long december and theres reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I cant remember all the times I tried to tell my myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass

And its one more day up in the canyon
And its one more night in hollywood
Its been so long since Ive seen the ocean...i guess I should



The New Year - Death Cab for Cutie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a84TmrJpBCw
so this is the new year.
and i don't feel any different.
the clanking of crystal
explosions off in the distance (in the distance).

so this is the new year
and I have no resolutions
for self assigned penance
for problems with easy solutions

so everybody put your best suit or dress on
let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
as thirty dialogues bleed into one

i wish the world was flat like the old days
then i could travel just by folding a map
no more airplanes, or speedtrains, or freeways
there'd be no distance that can hold us back.
there'd be no distance that could hold us back (x2)
so this is the new year (x4)