Monday, September 24, 2007

A Few More Boxes

I think I have an abnormally high sex drive. This combined with the fact that I am not too particular about the things most women are when it comes to men (like being married or taken, like the possibility of having a future monogamous romantic relationship, like the possibility of falling in love) means that I have some new "sex in a box" partners. They are very fun but very different. And, of course, I have some new psuedonyms.

The first one I met is Chimera. I met him through the Pack. I helped the Female Alpha interview him as a new possible slave for her on a 3d avatar chat program where they take these kind of relationships very seriously. Unlike the other possible slaves that I had interviewed previously, this young man (20) was very thoughtful and also showed a great deal of potential as a submissive. Outside of talking with him with the rest of the pack, he and I spend a great deal of time away from the Pack. We became quite friendly, as two subs talking about what we wanted out of a dominant. I also learned about his real life situation. He has a beautiful daughter and he is plannning on marrying her mother in the next year or so. While he and his fiancee are kinky in bed, she is a sub and, while he tries hard to fulfill what she desires, she seems to get turned off by what he wants, though she has tried a few times to humor him, though she feels weird afterwards. Unfortunately, I met him right before things disintegrated with the Pack and I didn't want him to risk losing his first chances at having a mistress, albeit only online, by talking to me, if the Female Alpha had a problem with it. As I didn't hear from him for weeks, I assumed that is what happened. But then, a few weeks ago, we started talking again. It seems like he had just become disillusioned by the whole situation because the Female Alpha was not online enough and did not give him the amount of instructions he was hoping for. At first, we were just talking as friends, but within a few days, I found myself taking on the role of a domme for him. It has been rather fun though it was recently been pointed out to me that I haven't been quite as dominant as I should be and that I've been letting his top from the bottom, so I started yesterday being a more demanding, less-playful domme. Unfortunately, Chimera lives in Ohio so all of my domming is being handled long-distance, despite how much I'd like for there to be some kind of sex in the real world.

My other latest "sex in the box" is with Stewart. Or at least that is how he introduced himself when he sent me a random, unsolicited IM last week. Of course, during our first conversation, as all men do, he claimed not to be married or taken, but he was interesting and nice and didn't mention wanting sex right away, so, contrary to what I usually do, which is just block any unsolicited IMs, I continued to talk to him. I saw him on his webcam and I sent him some pics of me. We met up on Wednesday, as I suspected, Stewart wasn't his real name and he is unhappily married. But we had a good lunch with a great conversation and the sex was pretty good, so we are continuing with that as well. Despite the fact that he looks like your average suburban dad and business man and that the sex was pretty vanilla at first, he started to reveal some of his kink today. I really love getting with men who look straight-laced, but are just hiding that they are as strange as I look.

Unfortunately, I don't have any boxes with women. There is a very good reason for this. I do not want to fall in love but I do want sex. I can easily have this with men. And it is actually so much easier to have sex without a risk of your partner wanting a relationship or falling in love if they are already taken. But I couldn't really do with a woman. I have too much respect for women to use them as I do men. And I'd have to play the "I really do want a relationship" game with women, when I know I really don't. Plus, I've found that I can be honest with men about how I feel about sex and relationships and my kinks, whereas I've found that most women don't react well to finding out how I truly feel about those things.

I've also noticed a trend that happens when I'm feeling better, more confident, less needy. I seem to be much more confident and less needy when I'm actually getting sex already, which used to entail being in a relationship. This confidence and un-neediness seems to attract other people, especially men. So, right now, I seem to be collecting men, like poor stray puppies who show up at my door and I just can't seem to turn any of them away. But I'm still not getting enough sex!

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