Thursday, July 27, 2006

Scariest Dream Ever

Have you ever had a dream in which someone you know in real life does something that makes you very angry and you are still very angry at them when you wake up? Like they had actually done that in real life? Well, I had one of those a few days ago.
In my dream, my parents were swingers. (Thinking of ones own parents having sex is bad enough, much less thinking of them in the middle of swinger orgies.) Now the knowledge that they were swingers was bad enough, but I was just going to ignore it, live and let live, you know. But then I got up one night to get something to eat and my mom's lover was up getting something too! Unbeknownst to me, my parents each had a lover living with them, in the bedroom right above my head. That was the final straw for me! I marched into their bedroom, where all parties were lounging on what appeared to be two large beds pushed together, and screamed, "Get out, get out, get out!!!! Get out of my house." One interesting sidenote is that my (straight, as far as I know) mother had a young nubile model-looking female lover while my step-dad had a trashy, chubby, mid-30s woman who could have been ripped straight from a trailer park episode of COPS. The lovers were bewildered, but I kept yelling at them and pointing at the door. My parents wanted me to "chill out." I don't really remember if they ever left or not.
Then, later in the dream, my mom, my former friend Mike, and I were all shopping at a very run down department store. We were standing in line at the register, Mike in front of me, my mother behind me. A "suave" guy started flirting with my mom, leaning very close to her. I stepped in between them, pushing my mom back, and yelling at the guy for flirting with my mom and asking if he had ever heard of personal space. My mom just giggled like a teenager. Driving in the car after leaving the store, she teased me. "Why are you so upset? Does it bother you that your mother has sex? You are such a prude!"
Needless to say, after I awoke from this dream, I called my mother and bitched her out for being such a dirty, flirty slut.

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