Sunday, July 08, 2007


It's been over 24 hours since I've done anything to contact Mon Parrain. I went completely overboard and OCCD last night until I started mixing all kinds of old prescription medicines, which were probably so long expired that whatever effect they had on me was from their being expired not their actual chemical properties. Then, once my grandma got up and directed me to the cabinet with the GOOD drugs, I took an ambien CR, which is supposed to be a controlled release for 8 hours, but, mixed with the other drugs lasted me about 16 hours. Then, it was to the hospital so see Grandpa for the last hour of visiting hours and then I hung out with Sir, just bullshitting for hours on end. I do have to admit that my lack of contact for these 24+ hours has had a great deal less to do with self-control (of which we know I have NONE) and more to do with drugs and other people, but I still did it. And I'm going to try to do it each day from now on. If he wants me, he knows where I am and how I feel. Until then: My name is Ava and I have OCCD. It has been 1 day since I have obsessively contacted my last ex (?)-lover.

I should also add the disclaimer that it helped me to get a sexy text message last night from a sexy woman expressing her sexy thoughts about me. That definately helped make Mon Parrain a more distant memory. In fact, I'm thinking I need a psuedonym for her as well....

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